The decision to become celibate is one of the most difficult decisions you can make in your lifetime. When you are celibate and dating it makes life even more difficult. Most of the guys you meet are not celibate and nor do they plan to be. When they realize that you’re not giving it up guys usually react one of four ways.
1. He will “friendzone” you. This guy is obviously not happy with the fact that you don’t want to have sex, but they may like you personality or company. Instead of cutting you off, they keep you around hoping you will eventually give it up.
2. He is in denial or too arrogant to believe you won’t have sex with him because most women they encounter have given it up. Apparently, women are claiming they are celibate, but they are still giving it up. Why lie? You are making all the actual celibate girls look like liars. I used to get offended when a man didn’t believe me, but with all the women lying I can’t get mad anymore.
3. He will cut you off. Men who know what they want and know what they can handle will end their ties to you because they know they don’t want to be celibate and don’t want to waste time.
4. He is willing to wait? I have a lot of respect for the guy that is willing to wait. However, I think it is necessary that their decision is one they’ve made for themselves not because you want them to be. With all of the temptation in this world it is hard enough to become celibate for Christ alone. It is even harder to do it for a significant other. Majority of the time the guy that’s willing to wait was already considering celibacy and you confirmed it, or he was already celibate. Beware because there are men who will try to be celibate for you, but will eventually cheat on you to satisfy themselves because they realized they can’t handle it. Make sure he thought this decision through completely because it is a very difficult journey.
The best way to cope with celibacy while dating is by finding platonic (no intimacy, just companionship) friends or someone who shares your viewpoints on sex. Other options to cope could be to limit the amount of dating you do so that you aren’t tempted, or to simply stop dating. Forcing someone to be celibate and they are not mentally (or spiritually) ready is a recipe for disaster. Celibacy is an area where you cannot afford to be indecisive because sex is an important factor to most men (even some Christian ones). It will only lead to problems in the relationship if you are indecisive or waver in your commitment to celibacy. If you are going to be celibate then do so wholeheartedly.